Written 3/29/16 I will not post until I announce but want to document my thought and my journey.
Have you ever had to wait for test results? For something to happen or not happen for you to know what will happen? That is how I am feeling right now.
Well this morning I woke up not feeling so well again but I knew since my husband was already gone for work I needed to push through. I am not one to complain when I am just not feeling too good but when I am also wondering could it be a sign it gets to you. You start to wonder if its mental.
The kids were not ready to end Spring Break but mama needed to get work and they needed to get to school. One week from today Faith has a SAT test and while I don’t want her to stress or worry about the end result I do like to tell her that she should try her best. Michael will graduate from VPK in just a few months, my children are growing up too fast. We left the house right in time to make it through our morning schedule. I didn’t have time for my breakfast shake so I spent the day being hungry and nauseous.
My boss sent an emailing asking how everything was and all I could answer was “under control as I am doing the best I can today but I don’t feel well” she called to talk and asked if I might be pregnant. My answer was vague as I wasn’t too sure myself. My day went on but when lunch arrived I couldn’t get the thoughts out of my mind. I went out grabbed lunch and went home to test. Well four test later I was pretty sure I was seeing a line. My time was up and back to work I went. I didn’t have time to think about how I felt. I was about to make a career change and was due at the end of the year.
My day went on at towards the end of my work day I called my husband to warn him that I had taken a test and wasn’t sure so before he got home and got too excited we should wait. We should do a blood test or allow some more time to pass. I needed to be sure. My day ended at work but the play button had been pressed for my home day…. I was on the way to pick up the kids.
I arrived home and sat on the floor giving my sleeping husband a kiss on the lips. The kids ran and screamed about who would do what first. I just needed a moment for my thoughts to settle in. I let my husband know I was going to take a shower while he worked on dinner. The shower helped but I still wondered… what would the end result be?
In bed before going to sleep I told my husband if I was pregnant I was ready for my UC (unassisted birth), that I didn’t want to know the sex and that minimal care, no ultrasounds. I think by putting it in writing, having it here I will be able to keep my word to myself. I will have the best experience, the experience I want!
Stay turned for our journey. Tell me about yours.