Pregnancy

Breaking the news to my mama

My mother and I weren’t always the most loving mother daughter relationship. I was that older child who wanted and needed to test the limits. Mom would you say that is correct?

My mom has always told me that if I could have had children when I was still a child myself I would have. I loved being around babies and caring for them. I had a cousin who had children very, very young and I was always around when I wasn’t in school. A few years past that I hadn’t seen them and I saw them during Fourth of July last year (2015) and my heart melted. I got very emotional to see how grown up they were and how amazing they had turned out. Anyway back to my story about telling my mom.

I called my mom up on April 6th or 7th and told her I had something to tell her and I would either give her the best day ever or the worse. You see my daughter Faith was turning 7 that weekend and my mom has this 6th sense, she just knows me all too well she would have noticed something was up when I didn’t go on any of the rides at the fair. I didn’t want this news to be all my mom could think or want to talk about when we should be celebrating the birth of my first-born.

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I had a personalized burlap from chathamplace an esty shop that included the name and birthdays of all of my children and then added my estimated due date at the end. I called my mom soon after it arrived via FaceTime and told her I had a gift to give her, but I couldn’t wait so she needed to look at the phone. I turned the camera around and she started to read her eyes moved from side to side and from line to line. It wasn’t until she got to the end and say December 2016 that it hit her. The shock came over her face and she kept asking if it was real. I answered yes and have to admit I was almost a little hurt by her reaction. She and I have since spoken about it and my mom loves and supports me no matter what but in that moment I just needed my mom. I needed to have my mom congratulate me and it be real. I was in shock too, I mean I know having sex can lead to a baby and I knew I wanted to have another but I have suffer so many miscarriages I didn’t think it would happen so fast and so soon.

The weekend came and my mom was finally here, we spent the time we had together doing things with the kids and having a blast. Money was still hard around this time but I knew changes were coming and things would change for us. I was happy not having this big birthday party but rather the time I was able to spend talking to my mom and hanging with my husband and the kids. We all had a blast being together and making memories. These memories will last a life time.

I started to think writing this blog wasn’t the best idea, I didn’t write it to hurt the feelings of anyone let alone my mother who brings such unconditional love and support to of course her children, myself included but to my children, her sister, and anyone who comes in contact with her. My mom, Odalys, is like no other and anyone who is able to meet her and have her as a friend is truly blessed.

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Julio, Odalys, and Carmen July 2015

 

 

All I ask is although you may not agree with having a large family, or you see a family struggle as the continue to grow remember this they are growing, they have to readjust and get their foot settled on the ground. They need to figure out how a family goes from being ok with society with the number of children and being happy themselves. Not everything we do in life is for the approval of others, we live to make us happy. This is a topic I’m not sure I will ever be done writing about because from the moment I had my son and our pair was complete I was told I should tie my tubes, who needs more kids, you can hardly afford the ones you have. I know you mean right but please take a step back, stop judging me and allow me to be happy I will figure it out. If that moment comes when I can’t get my foot settled on the ground I will reach out and ask for help. I am not trying to make my family sink. I am still able to take our family on vacation, we still go out and have dinner, we do everything most families with only two children are able to do and sometimes more.

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